Three years ago today, I was wheeled into pre-op for a seven-hour surgery. I went under anesthesia for the first time. My entire spine was fused together. Two 18-inch rods were screwed in 18 places into my spine. I had to learn to sit again-- how to stand, walk, and use my arms and legs again. I can no longer bend my back. There is an 18-inch scar down my back (which I am SO proud of). My spine is so much straighter now. My lungs have room for me to breathe. And three years ago today-- yes, in one day-- I grew an inch and a half.
But much more importantly than the physical changes in my life, my attitude changed. I had my dreams. I wanted to be a private piano teacher and volleyball coach for the rest of my life, because that's what I loved doing-- certainly NOT because I wanted to teach. (Teaching kids was the last thing I wanted to do.) I simply did things because I wanted to and it made my life more enjoyable. But three years ago, I was told that my volleyball days were basically over. And while lying in bed one night trying to think of things other than the pain, I thought about the pain Christ must have experienced. I realized that He didn't necessarily want to suffer in pain-- but He did it willingly because He loved us. I came out of this with a straighter spine. He was rejected, tormented, and put to death-- because He loves us.
Three years ago, I became a different person. I returned to school with a completely renewed passion for God. I wanted to get involved in the lives of the junior high students and younger kids, and share my passion with them. I was more thankful for things I always took for granted. And the next thing I know, I'm signing up for Music Education-- where I can use my love of music to make a difference for Christ in the lives of my future students. And that's what I want now: to make a difference. It took a back surgery for me to understand what life is really about. I'm still human, and I can still be ungrateful and lose my passion. But God cares enough to send us through the difficult times in life to get our attention back on Him.
And just so you know, I'm back to volleyball again. It's a little bit harder, but certainly appreciated more.
Three years ago today, God used my weakness for His glory-- and still is, every single day.
