Time has a way of healing things. No matter what hardships
we’ve endured, in time we tend to forget what some of the pain was like. Nothing
will ever take these scars away. They’re here for good. And yet we still
forget.
My back surgery was by far the most physically painful thing
I’ve been through. Occasionally, I will wake up after a nightmare about having
another back surgery. And then it’s as if all the memories and feelings flood
back to my mind. I begin remembering the pain I felt, the emotions, the
surroundings, the smells of the hospital, and the people there with me.
Sometimes I’ll push myself too hard playing volleyball or trying to pick
something up, and the smallest amount of pain sends me back to those moments of
what it felt like almost 9 years ago. It all comes back.
And yet I live most of everyday not giving a thought to any
of that. Because I’m in denial? No. Because my back is fixed and perfect now?
Mostly definitely no. Because life moves on, whether you’re ready or not.
I’ve been reminded of this as I’ve seen my family and
friends go through heartache this year. I was reminded last night when talking
with a high school girl who was sobbing over a very difficult situation she was
experiencing. And then later I heard her joyful laughter. Was everything ok
then? No, but life moves on. And so we have to.
Scars are fascinating to me. Not only do they look cool, but
they typically have awesome (or sometimes hilarious) stories behind them. A lot
of people ask me if I try to hide my scar or make it less noticeable with
medicine. My response? No way! I worked hard for this. I’m very proud of my
18-inch scar.
Scars are not a reminder of what you’ve been through (although
it certainly is that) as much as it is a reminder of who you are now because of what you’ve been through.
Every problem God gives us in life makes us a different person. It changes our perspective a
little bit at a time. Our character grows through hardships if we allow God to work.
As of last August, my friends and I have raised almost
$6,000 for the Ronald McDonald House Charities. Before my surgery, I didn’t even
know what that organization was, much less cared to help it. I became
passionate about it. But after a while, I wondered if all the stress of putting
on these benefit concerts was worth it. I was forgetting what I had been
through and how I had been changed.
Even scars fade. That permanent proof of victory becomes
less visible, and therefore less memorable. We shouldn’t live in the past,
stuck where we used to be, enduring those trials all over again. Let’s remember
how far we’ve come and how we can keep growing and shining as our scars
disappear.
